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i promise to make you so alive that the fall of dust on furniture will deafen you. –nina cassian

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

joke of all trades

first!----nothing matters until you watch this;









Our designer left about 2 weeks ago to move back home to iowa to start a cookie company with her parents. She went to a one week cooking school in texas. She’s been dating a guy for 5 years. He lives in Chicago. She now lives in iowa.

This chicks dad:

“you’re not getting any older, ryan is a good guy… either marry him or dump him. And if you dump him you’re going to end up dating divorceeees with 3 kids.”

I guess I have a different opinion. I don’t see marriage as the underlying commitment, the goal, the point of all of this… i really don't think that's a misconception, either. i really really don't. i have things in my life that make me feel something extraordinary every single day. i wouldn't trade my life for 5 seconds to be a hopeless romantic. gross.


Someone posed these four questions to me a few days back(dif scenarios of course, i just found it interesting)----


M: “wouldn’t you want to get married if you’d been dating someone for 5 years”

JW: “uh, no actually.”


M: “well, don’t you like to bake?”

JW: “uh, no actually.”


M: “you could always move to Cleveland.”

JW: “uh, no actually I literally can’t.”


M: “I think it’d be okay if you coasted for a little while, you know.. served til you figured out what you wanted to do.”

JW: “i always know what i want to do. i'm DOING it. not to mention, you couldn’t pay me to be any sort of waitstaff at a restaurant. Oh, except a bartender. And that’d last one night and I’d be bored.”


I read this at work last week:

http://www.esquire.com/women/women-issue/funny-facts-about-women-0510#ixzz0neShBDgA


with the conclusion: i'm totally, absolutely and completely wired like a male.


however, i did agree with the following;

No. 497: We like whiskey. And beer. —Maura E. McGill, 29, New York

No. 587: Suggesting breakfast out in the morning is sometimes just a nice way to get you out. We have lives to lead. —Davian den Otter, 32, Ottawa Ontario Canada

No. 579: Never underestimate the power of your hands. —Kimani Rabess, 29, Brooklyn

No. 224: Call us on our shit. We need it. We shall call you on your shit. You need it. —Rhiannon Falzone, 26, Chicago

No. 818: We judge you based on how you treat us when we're sick. —Penelope Ruth, 24, Ann Arbor, Michigan

No. 228: The most chivalrous thing a man can do is listen when we talk. We don't want to be asked the same question three times in one night. —Kerri Theodore, 28, Tampa, Florida

No. 632: We sweat just as much as you do. But we make sure we keep our deodorant and perfume handy. You should do the same. —Sheila Marie, 25, Pensacola, Florida

No. 242: Dressing nicely doesn't make you look gay, it makes you look like you're no longer in college. —Hannah Friedman, 29, Baltimore

No. 714: Even the most cynical, Valentine-hating girl would secretly love to have flowers sent to her at work. —Lindsey Simpson, 23, San Diego

No. 758: What's with the spitting? No. No spitting. Especially no making that hawking sound before you spit. —Hannah Friedman, 29, Baltimore

No. 421: Sometimes, when we're not sure about you, we look at your shoes to decide whether or not to sleep with you. Just good to keep in mind. —Sarah June Renschler, 30, New York

No. 618: Women like men who are confident enough in themselves to let the women they're with be brilliant. —Teresa Jusino, 30, New York

No. 171: Some of us — some of us — prefer movies with explosions or bad jokes. —Kt McBratney, 27, Omaha

No. 967: Yes, we'll have another glass of wine, thank you. —Meredith Blake Matthews, 26, Pittsburgh

No. 615: You can't brush your teeth too often. —Barbara Govednik, 46, Chicago

No. 192: We love tools. Tools are hot. Learn how to use more tools. —Haiyen Chin, 33, Brooklyn

No. 860: Knowing how much you don't know: that's okay. Attractive, even.Pretending you understand is the problem. —Jen Montminy, 24, Centre Hall, Pennsylvania

No. 905: We love working out with you. —Courtney Harper, 23, Sherman Oaks, California

No. 985: We are not all the same, thus you cannot use the same "game" on all of us. Adapt. Thank you. —Adrienne Jones, 42, New York

No. 897: There is zero correlation between how well we dance and how good we are in bed. —Jenny Harding, 30, Aliso Viejo, California


No. 940: Four words that will turn away our wrath: "How can I help?" —Judith Brodnicki, 50, Omaha

No. 110: It's not that we don't know anything about sports, it's that we know that you like explaining it so much. —Caroline Celano, 28, Cambridge, Massachusetts

No. 67: Women in their mid-thirties have to do everything for ourselves — drive our careers, pay the mortgage, fix broken appliances, assemble furniture. The only place we don't have to do it ourselves is in the bedroom. For that one small slice of the day, we'll actually give up control and let someone else own us. So, own us. —Suzanne Casamento, 28, Los Angeles


No. 76: I only like football because of the pants. —Sondra Gavaldon, 28, Brooklyn

No. 111: When you offer to pay for something and we refuse, insist one more time. Always insist. —Cristina Luiggi, 24, New York

No. 382: Old Spice High Endurance Pure Sport. —Sarah June Renschler, 30, New York City

No. 21: Men drink coffee, not skinny double-pump soy macchiatos. Ordering the latter doesn't impress us; it makes us wonder if you'd rather be double-pumping your buddy Todd. —Kt McBratney, 27, Omaha


No. 403: You should be able to do anything Bob Vila can. Or that HGTV makes happen in a 30-minute episode. —Jennifer Davidick, 30, Hazleton,


No. 210: Even feminists want kitchens with stainless steel appliances. —Rachel Baron, 26, Chicago

No. 929: You should be more concerned when I stop thinking your jokes are funny than with how often I want to have sex. —Elizabeth Oporto, 26, Merrick, New York

No. 21: We understand the World Cup too. —Erin Dowding, 34, Brooklyn (of course i'd agree with this one)



I'm not really a kid person. (I don't get giddy about babies or pregnant people either). I don't understand them or really know how to talk to them. I'm coaching 9 year old girls soccer though and these chicks not only crack me up, but they sort of make my world turn. Seeing them progress over these last eight weeks has been one of the most internally rewarding things I've ever done. I see them do a back pass or yell "all right, let's get back into positions..." and I know I've done something. To have someone not only listen, but allow what you're offering to be instilled in their mind... and then using it as a tool, as part of them and their reactions to things...goddamn, it's a powerful thing.



I can't get over how people in offices of large companies don't speak to one another. It's so awkward. And I never feel awkward. I find it ironic that I learned more about my boss Michael over an hour at lunch than I know about the boss I've had for three years now.


oh. so, this was kind of cool. my boss looked at me yester when i got into the office and said "if you can make lester & lucy (letterpress portion) a profitable part of the company, i will hire you full time and even give you your own desk next to your press and inks." you bet your ass i'm going to do just that.


toured rohner for the second time this past week, angie remembered my face and the company i work for.


i'm thinking australia. yum.



take note;

>doesn't work until it does

>#foxtail

>coast-to-coast

>typeface on sale may 28th







>letterpresslove.com

>just be a programmer

>won both games last week

>babygurls tied their game 1-1

>"dude your legs could be a museum exhibit"-christian wise

>i put hashtags in text messages.

>outdoors; in every form and capability possible

>soccer tournaments around the WORLD.

>"hey this is my best friend and she's getting married, i'm just getting more cats"-leah dale

>"i know you think you're stronger than a 4 ton vehicle so i'm just going to put my hands on you and let you know when it's okay to cross the street."-ashten buxton

>turf grass came out of my notebook and onto a conference table in a meeting the other day

>every room in my entire apartment has soccer gear in it


I really am the worst at blogging. It's probably humorous how weird my posts are.



Don't ever let anything trump what's in front of you because life is too short to ignore what's in front of you. or to think you're better than it. or that you have it under control. or that it can't teach you anything.

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