I’ve been truly heartbroken only one time in my life. [sure, I’ve been bruised, battered, fallen apart. I’ve been stung. But I’ve only been uncontrollably I’m-going-to-act-batshit-now heartbroken one time.] And as the years go on, it becomes more surreal that it ever happened to me.

It always kind of stumps me when it happens to anyone else.

My friends always get way more “out of me” than any of my men. I’ve dropped more important things to rescue one of my friends than to swoon any of my suitors.

It’s almost funny. The way we move through things and then just.. trump them. It has literally been so many years since I’ve found someone who could keep up with me that I’m not even sure if I really think about it anymore. I’d rather kayak alone any day than have another Italian dinner with another infused accountant.

It’s interesting to me…it seems almost 80% of our daily conversation is made up of some sort of relationship. I walk down the streets, outdoor patios flourishing, conversations flowing.. and the topic always stems around the latest men. I mean… Jesus Christ, if that was all I was doing, I’d be having weak conversations on plastic patio furniture, too.

I don’t care about having pets or fences or a man who can build me a sunroof. I’ll be traveling rather than taking care of pets, opening the gates rather than being fenced in, and, dude- you haven’t seen me with a drill.


You know something I really want to be better at? Dissecting sports games.

Things I’ve been wondering lately: 1. why are you always late, man? 2. you just know when you know, you know? 3. I do some pretty silly things; I listen to trashy pop music sometimes, I’m obsessed with bark and feathers and if I eat toast or pancakes, I will always get jelly or syrup in my hair.. 4. doesn’t anybody just listen? 5. how am I going to handle a winter without being able to ride my bike? 6. I’m not good at compromising my personality. 6. I could never be a sales person. And sell things. And act ways to sell those things. 7. There isn’t much better than a Monterey from Alonti.

Things we can learn from Jack Nicholson:
“I hate advice unless I’m giving it. I hate giving advice because people won’t take it.” >> What is with the stubborn mental state of… every individual on this earth? I’m exhibit A. And B and C. Probably all the way through Z.

“If you’re playing golf to get a loan, it aint golf, you know what I mean?”

“I’d prefer if people had no impressions of me. As a kid, I had to tell my own family, “please, just don’t talk about me!” Because they always got it wrong. Always. I just didn’t want them to tell anyone anything about me. God knew, they had a great opinion and loved me and meant well, but it was like, Please, you don’t have this right. You know what I mean?”

“When it’s over for a woman, it’s over. You’re not getting an appeal.”

“I respect the social graces enormously. How to pass the food. Don’t yell from one room to another. Don’t go through a closed door without a knock. Open the doors for the ladies. All these millions of simple household behaviors make for a better life. We can’t live in constant rebellion against our parents—it’s just silly. I’m very well mannered. It’s not an abstract thing. It’s a shared language of expectations.” <<< I’m not conventional, but please ADAPT.

“Do unto others… How much deeper into religion do we really need to go?”